Everybody else's girl, maybe one day she'll be her own

What do women do during their mid-life crisis? Guys get sportscars and toupees, earrings and tattoos. For that matter, do women even have mid-life crisises? Is crisises a word? Maybe I should be getting liposuction and implants... or maybe this is just the quarter-life crisis. Maybe it's not a crisis at all and I need therapy, maybe my birth control is making me have mood swings, or maybe everyone around me is a bunch of assholes. If I had to pick one...