We live in a beautiful world...

where to start? i usually never talk about rp on here, but today i'm gonna...i'm having a lot of fun. i think i'm finally over the "i'm not good enough to play with the big kids" thing. mind you, a girl always needs improvement, but i think right about now i'm able to let everything else go and just have a good time with it. that's a good thing. my oldest, dearest to my heart c, well, she's sort of gone into limbo. oddly enough, i don't feel compelled to bother with her anymore. which stuns me, because gatan, well...she's the alter ego, you know? more or less...but there's a lot that goes into it. there was a friendship involved, and i think the final nail is being pounded into THAT coffin. i tried to save it, or at least i think i did...it seems my foot kept lodging itself in my mouth. which leads me to....
honesty...? a pox on honesty. i want to help. i want to fix what's broken. but lately my quest for the truth seems to have taken a vicious turn and led to calamity. so, for now, i will publicly announce that i will be taking a break from it. no, i won't start spewing hideous lies, but i don't want to be hearing too much of the unvarnished truth right now. instead of making me feel better, it's been doing the opposite, so i say down with laying it all out on the table. keep some of it to yourself.
fish and green things in my house. chris moves to dallas in days. he brought his fish over to live in our new $100 fish tank, specially purchased for this very event. the $100 for a glass box pained me deeply. i naively thought i was to recieve 2 new members to our acquatic happy fun land. i got 15. 15 brightly colored, hungry, big fish, which makes a grand total of 17 now. brodie (my 3 year old, for those of you who might not know) is in heaven. he kisses the glass, holds his rubber shark up to the pane to have conversations with them - he makes his mouth move. i die every time, it's so cute - he calls them all happy. the green things...~scrunches her nose in disgust~ some of you know what they are, i won't say, but they're here and i'm am NOT PLEASED. they're gonna get fed to my garbage disposal or something. chris said the look on my face alone was worth it. i want to hurt him. next time he turns around in front of me, he's so going to feel my foot connecting with his scrawny butt.
i think this is the end, kids. alas (and shit).

...I can't help but stay the same
I remain true to the name of lovers past
I could not lose, I could not choose you too...