I'm not like all the other girls
I won't take it like the other girls
I won't fake it like the other girls
That you used to know

Let's pretend, happy end.

why are things so difficult? and i don't mean that i'm having a crisis here, just...things. i'm having one of those moments where i wish i could go back to when life was simpler. high school, when your biggest issues were talking trash about the bitch at pizza hut who hit on your boyfriend or getting your hair to look just right. even back when i lived in nebraska (nothing can ever be that bad again) it had its moments. there are all these people that have made appearances at various stages in my life, only to scatter across the country and drift into oblivion. i'd even go for trisha robinette in that horrible green pickup, listening to the same damn tim mcgraw tape over and over...~smiles~ okay, maybe not. my point is that everything is so temporary. you're in the moment, then you're out and there's nothing to hold you there anymore. i have a lifetime of these perfect moments that i hold with me - i love where i am now, don't get me wrong - but just to go back and feel that one more time...there was this one summer night, somebody took me out to a bridge, or maybe it was an overpass out in the middle of nowhere to show me the fireflies at night. there were crickets, it was a perfect starry sky... that...i think that, over everything else i've ever done. that's the image i'd stay in forever if i could.

remember how they always seem to know
we had the forest in our eyes
but the earth was in our clothes
and they thought we'd fall
not at all

so look back on those treasured days
we were young in a world that was so tired
though it's not what we wanted before
even the saints had to crawl from the floor

in the summer was when the money was gone, you'd sing
all your little songs they meant everything to me
and i'll remember you
and the things that we used to do
and the things we used to say
i'll remember you that way

remember how they tried to hold you down
and we climbed those towers and looked out upon our town
and everything you hoped would last
just always becomes the past
it hurts but...

in the summer was when the money was gone, you'd sing
all your little songs they meant everything to me
and i'll remember you
and the things that we used to do
and the things we used to say
i'll remember you always

(i know, maybe it's overkill but it's where i'm at tonight. if i could just shove emotion onto the page...~shrugs~ i'm a cancer. very emotional. i don't feel anything halfway.)